Learning to Facilitate Family Constellation Work
This page is a resource for facilitators of Family Constellation work, students learning to facilitate & those who desire to find a great Family Constellation training.
The Best Trainings - Hands-on practice vs. Theory
It takes a long time to learn Family Constellation facilitation. It depends on your courage to practice and learn while holding people’s psyche’s in your hands. It depends on your ability to fail in front of a group. Your capacity to be vulnerable.
There are many Constellation trainings, most lasting 6-9 months. It takes longer than this to become a competent facilitator. I would suggest many years, though you can get the basics in one training. Dan Cohen, a mentor whom I greatly respect says it takes “100 Constellations to become a proficient facilitator.” 100 may not sound like many, but when we break it down, it is.
To accomplish this you have to gather groups & clients together and then repeatedly practice & learn. If you create a workshop once per month and facilitate 4 Constellations on this day, then you will complete your 100 Constellations in about 2 years. The number – 100 Constellations – is arbitrary and everyone’s progress will vary, but it’s a good benchmark. For me it took about 4 years to get the basics and begin to feel comfortable in the Field. Even now I learn more every time I lead a Constellation.
This hands-on practice concept is IN ADDITION
to any facilitator trainings you take.
There are many trainings out there. I’ve led 10 full trainings myself. I believe it’s most important for students to find a training with hands-on practice. I’ve taken 9 month trainings where I never facilitated a single Constellation. Over the 5 full trainings I’ve taken I’ve probably facilitated 5 Constellations. This is NOT ENOUGH. So you have to create your first 100 Constellations on your own, outside of a training. You have to create the event yourself, market it, bringing together attendees (clients and representatives), which is a skill in itself.
Some trainings create space for more hands-on practice than others – Find these.
Hands-on is so important because you must train your body – muscle memory & energetic memory – for the complexity of leading a Constellation. You must develop confidence in yourself & develop your intuitive accuracy while leading a group.
Do you remember that childhood nightmare, the one where you show up in front of your class naked and have to give a presentation? This is the skill you need to develop to lead a Family Constellation workshop. Your ability to be in your vulnerability (naked), while leading a group (in front of people).
You must train your body and energetic awareness to feel the group’s energy, the energy in the Field, while maintaining connection with your client and your intuition – All at the same time.
This takes hands-on practice. You can’t learn this in a book, you learn it in your body.
Bert Hellinger did not learn from a book. He learned from the Field & in his body. Yes, he had other trainings and skills that he learned along the way, but nobody taught him “The Orders Of Love” and no book trained his intuition. He learned by doing and the Field taught him. The Field is your best teacher and you only get this through practice.
So, my advice is, find a training with a LOT of hands-on practice. My 2023/2024 Family Constellation Training was 40 days and consisted of 50% hands-on practice, 25% theory & 25% personal work.
The Journey Is A Long One
But if you continue to move forward, apply yourself, feel the fears and vulnerability while doing the inner work, you will get there.
While you are developing during your first 100 Constellations – You ARE HELPING PEOPLE quite a bit. A mediocre Constellation is still usually more powerful than talk therapy. So, don’t dismiss those first Constellations as not of value. They are valuable and anyone lucky enough to have a Constellation with you is lucky indeed. Charge enough so there is a balance between give and take. I see ALMOST ALL new facilitators charging too little. Respect yourself, respect the work, respect your clients. Believe they will get tremendous value and they will.
I coach facilitators in business skills. It’s a passion of mine. I don’t charge much because I consider it an offering to our community. If you want business support (Where to market? How to market? How to build a group? How much to charge? Should you rent a space…?) – Reach out. I’ve been through all of this myself.
The Inner Work
Family Constellation work is a mastery-level modality, a powerful tool. Because of it’s power, it asks a lot of us regarding our skillfulness & health as facilitators. We must do the inner work to competently use this tool.
The level of inner work needed is high. It is HALF THE BATTLE to your success. Half is learning the skills (embodied and theoretical), the other half is working on your own trauma and wounds.
- Your fears of being seen.
- What if you reach out and nobody responds?
- Of asking for and receiving support.
- Of charging what you are worth.
- The fears of public failure.
- What if you harm a client or make a mistake?
If these particular fears impact you, you will have to work through them to succeed. Most healers have a few of these. This is normal, there is nothing wrong with you, it is the healers journey (You take on the wound, you heal it and then you share the healing medicine you learned with the world.)
To the level you resolve your wounds is the level to which you can bring your gifts & trust me, bringing this modality to the world is beautiful. It is WORTH the inner work.
Here are 4 blog articles I wrote to support students in learning the art of Family Constellation facilitation.
Other Ways To Learn
Aside from hands-on practice, the other way I like to learn is through books. The pacing of books soothes me, I feel relaxed. I take in the information slowly where it is allowed to integrate into my body. Here are the best Constellation books I’ve come across. I recommend these to all my students. The top section are the required readings & the bottom 6 are recommended. Click the heart image below to view the reading list.
The Training Manual – Over the years I have compiled quite the list of reading materials for my students, over 200 pages. I’m giving this to you. This manual has grown as I’ve come across more good information. It is now almost 200 pages long. It is a BIG DOWNLOAD, but if you are interested, you are welcome to have it. Most of my students download it and then have it printed. Any big office supply store can do this.
About ½ this manual are my personal writings. The other ½ are written by prominent facilitators. I thank them and I have always tried to give them credit when I have shared their materials. I hope I have not missed any citations.
Family Constellation Training Manual
Family Constellation Recommended Book List
Training Constellations
Training Constellations are my most recent project to support students to learn Constellation work. I do very complex Constellations, it’s what I love to do. As a Soul I enjoy challenging myself and I become bored when I am not challenged. My Constellations take about 1 hour and 45 minutes and usually involve 15 or so representatives. (You can create a much smaller container than I do, the work is still amazing.)
Students have said it’s beneficial when I explain my thinking process for them. This allows them to see inside my mind as I am facilitating.
Like all artforms, from the outside it can look like I have it all under control, but I can assure you, I do not. There are many times I feel lost or have NO IDEA what is going on. There are times I am thinking – How am I ever going to wrap this Constellation up? It does not look like it will resolve. And yet, through the magic & intelligence of the Field, it does. (I would offer here that FAITH in the Field is one of the most important things you will learn over time)
My current facilitation skills are based on 15 years in the Field. A previous 5 years of leading Holotropic Breathwork events and 10 years of being a flight attendant, which is where I first started learning to manage the energetics of group Fields. All of these have taught me to manage group energies & emotions.
In this Training Constellation (The Mindset Of A Facilitator #1) I break down a full Constellations for you and share my thinking processes. This Training Video is 3 hours long, so create the space to take it in. More of these Training Constellation videos will be coming.
If you find it valuable, please like. This it the first of many Training Constellations to come. If you want receive notice when they are published, subscribe to my Family Constellation based YouTube channel, where you can see Bert Hellinger Training Videos and more.
Also share your thoughts in the comments on YouTube, it creates a conversation. It also raises the algorithm, which supports others to see it & is a blessing to me.
Learning About Trauma
Anyone can lead a Constellation. Some have more aptitude than others. I once had an accountant in a training. She was worried, “who am I to lead a Constellation, do I have the skills for this?” My reply is, “yes, absolutely”
You don’t have to be a psychotherapist, healer or anything of the sort. All it takes is time, learning & dedication. Anybody can learn to facilitate Family Constellation work.
But, in addition to a Constellation training – you need to know how to work with trauma. You need to track where your client is energetically & emotionally and moderate their experience so they can be present to the process without getting blown out or dissociating. Learning this is up to you. It’s not hard, but you need the attunement and awareness to support your client.
You do not have to take a class to learn about trauma. you can look from a book or online resources. One of my favorite books on trauma is Bessel van der Kolk’s – The Body Keeps The Score. It’s well written & enjoyable. You can also find his resources on YouTube. Peter Levine is another skillful writer when it comes to learning trauma work, as you can see in his Waking The Tiger book here.
Whatever you do, or whatever your background or training. You must support your client’s emotional safety. To do this, learn about trauma. You do not need to take a full course, spend thousands of dollars or take years of study. You simply need to attune to your clients experience while you are working and support them when they need it. It is necessary to spend a few days or weeks learning about this in addition to any Family Constellation Training.
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I hope this entire training page has been valuable to you.
If you would like to share anything. Or have questions, comments or thoughts – contact me
Jack
