6 Things Almost Killed My Family Constellation Career
I remember the time, about 4 years ago, I could not market another workshop. I was DONE!
My Soul said “no” to marketing & by default facilitating – haha
It said “yes” to hiking and for the next 8 months, this is all I did ~ hiked. Fortunately I live in Colorado, so the hiking was great.
It was painful not working on my career and my dreams, my inner pusher was shoving hard, but my Soul wouldn’t budge. Hiking was my way. My bank account dwindled and still I hiked.
The Deeper Cut…
Much of my unhealed PAIN & TRAUMA was being activated by being a Family Constellation facilitator. It had come to a head and my Soul said “no more!”
The Wounds We Face…
To become a successful Family Constellation facilitator we must face many of our deepest wounds or we will fail!
These were my demons
~ Fear of public failure
~ Fear of being seen
~ Fear of reaching out and not being received
~ Receiving compensation
~ Deep feelings of responsibility for my clients well-being
The Wounds Described…
Fear of public failure ~ It is so vulnerable leading Family Constellation work. To sit in our unknowing in front of a group of people depending on us, all while trusting our intuition, hoping this persons psych will be put back together before we are finished – not easy!
Fear of being seen ~ In my household growing up, it was not safe to be seen. This fear was challenged again and again by facilitating & marketing Family Constellation work.
Reaching out and not being received ~ Asking my mother time and again to meet my needs (reaching out) and it almost never happened. Eventually I gave up and quit trying. How this relates ~ every time I sent out a marketing email this wound was touched. Would I be received, would anyone unsubscribe? There was constant unresolved pain every time I marketed.
Receiving Compensation ~ Fear of asking for what I need or what I was worth.
Responsibility for clients ~ As facilitators of this work we work with the deepest human suffering. We all know this. We also know that when we have a Constellation go bad, there are serious negative consequences. The Constellations where I made mistakes weighed heavily upon me (too heavily).
Perfectionism – Writing a marketing email would take days and tons of energetic output ~ It had to be perfect! WAY TOO MUCH effort relative to my ability to put out SUSTAINABLE marketing efforts.
The buildup of these wounds brushing up against leading and marketing Family Constellation work eventually came to a head and my Soul said “no more.” And so I hiked.
Slowly Healing Came…
Slowly I was able to start working again and now I am moving completely into my deepest desire ~ training facilitators. (My Hearts current deepest passion).
The biggest healing movement for me was protecting my inner child. I had to check in with him regarding every move I made. I had to make sure he could handle it and was not scared. If he was scared I had to back off, even cancelling workshops if needed. For me, this inner safety had to come first! And I had to be attuned. No more putting out various workshops while my inner safety was threatened. Protection of my inner boy became paramount.
And slowly I was able to start marketing and facilitating again
I hope this article supports some of you budding facilitators. This is hard work to Soulfully market and facilitate. Some of you are struggling with similar issues. Hang in there, protect your “little one,” reach out to me or other successful facilitators if you need support.
I’d love to hear the thoughts of all of you. I think these challenges we facilitators of this amazing work struggle with need to be talked about more.
Contact me with any questions or to learn more about this amazing modality
Regards, Jack Blackwell