I CAN’T BELIEVE

I CAN’T BELIEVE

I can’t believe that at the age of 57 I am STILL processing childhood trauma. That I am still going into the horrors of my childhood with my therapist. Feeling & Integrating: PAIN.

I started my healing journey at 18 and I’ve never stopped.

But if you had told me I would still be doing the work 39 years later, I would have called you naive or a liar. I would have arrogantly proven you wrong.

And yet, here I am, still feeling the grief.

I AM SORRY TO SAY

That is takes much longer to heal than I ever thought it would. I think being in a childhood home of terror, sexual overtones between parent and child, extreme neglect (having braces for 9 years because nobody took me to the orthodontist), that all of this creates a massive pool of trauma that lives in the body.

How long does it take to heal 18 years of constant trauma? Of living in it every day.

Perhaps a lifetime.

This makes me deeply sad. 😢

AND YET…

I can say that my life is better than it’s ever been, that I’m living a dream life in many ways. That I’m thrilled with my business success and all I’ve overcome. That I even experienced a beautiful love.

So the work paid off

But the level of pain and the length of time to feel, process & heal it are so much LONGER than I ever would have thought. I wish someone would have told me how long it would take, but perhaps it’s better I didn’t know…

What say you?

Do you grok what I am speaking to?

Please comment or share below if this strikes a cord for you. Let’s normalize the truth of the healing process

Much Love, Jack