The Codependent & The Narcissist (An Unhappy Love Story)

Codependents can be attracted to narcissists like moths to . The reason is simple. Narcissist have something codependents lack – A sense of self!

But before I go further. I need to offer my definition of codependency

Me – “Codependency at its core is a wound of self betrayal. A person with Codependent patterns had to betray their authentic self in childhood to meet the needs of mom, dad & the family system.”

In other words: Codependency is a loss of THE AUTHENTIC SELF.

Codependency is also a survival strategy.

While codependents lack a sense of self, and morph into everyone else’s world, narcissists have ONLY a sense of self. Thus the attraction.

Turns out – it’s not a match made in heaven. The narcissist only cares about themself and the codependent doesn’t know who they are.

Unless both are doing personal work, this match will end in purgatory.

HEALING IS POSSIBLE

The patterns of codependency can be healed. It takes the codependent LEARNING WHO THEY ARE and then ACTING and SPEAKING this TRUTH.

What stops a codependent is TERROR.

The codependent is terrified that if they speak and act authentically they will be rejected or not loved or abused or neglected. These are the childhood fears living in an adult body.

THE HARD PART

The challenging thing about healing codependent patterns is SITTING WITH THE SENSATIONS.

When the codependents speak and act their truth – tremendously uncomfortable sensations arise in the body. These sensations can feel like life & death. (These are the built-up, SUPPRESSED emotions and sensations from childhood)

The healing of codependency is knowing one’s truth, then speaking & acting from this place – while sitting with the uncomfortable sensations that arise. (Eventually these sensations SUBSIDE, but it takes time, practice and REPETITION.)

Once a codependent patterned person discovers who they are and strengthens their sense of self, the unhealthy attractions to narcissist abates or leaves completely.

Allowing a healthier Love story to begin.

Impacts?

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