YESERDAY’S CONSTELLATION
Yesterday I received a Family Constellation from Nir Esterman. The theme was – What’s blocking me from showing up in the world in a bigger way?
What came up was: My arrogance & a missing empathy.
This was spot on. The truth is, on one level I deeply care about humans & on another I definitely lack empathy. Especially when I’m feeling arrogant.
WHAT ALSO SHOWED UP…
A deep and loving connection to my grandfather – Jack
And my grandfather was a very powerful and troubled man. Closed, strong, hard, financially successful with deep pain underneath.
What also showed up were dead babies, I’ve heard my grandparents had many, many miscarriages. Possible sexual abuse towards my mother & Darkness in the lineage.
And yes, my grandfather showed up arrogant & lacking empathy.
In childhood I remember a family story about him, that when he didn’t like one of his hunting dogs he would take it into the woods and shoot it. A profound lack of empathy…
THE BIG IMPACT FROM THE FIELD
However, was when a representative for “potential sexual abuse” towards my mother was brought in. Something deep inside of me took a BREATH.
You see, my mother was over-s*xual with me also – Asking me once at 16, while in the midst of her 3-year depression. “Would you make love to me?” Things were pretty confused.
So to have it named and brought into the Field touched me deeply. Was the abuser my grandfather, was this someone else? I don’t know, but I do believe something happened to her that has always been hidden.
THE HEALING MOVEMENT
The healing movement, though not fully resolved was to support my grandfather to soften. When he looked at the lost children, it deeply impacted him. There were 7 reps for lost children in the Field. It was also important for me to see where my arrogance & lack of compassion stemmed from. And that I needed to energetically disconnect from parts of my grandfather and lovingly move farther away.
Also what wanted to be seen was, “What was missing” which turned out to be an ancient ancestral support of Light & Love for the family lineage.
SO MY ARROGANCE & LACK OF EMPATHY…
Turned out to be patterns passed down from my grandfather. And of course, I’m sure I have my own karma and responsibility.
THE MAGIC OF FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS
THIS is the MAGIC ❤. To come with a deep question, allowing the Spiritual Forces to guide us, through representations, to the best evolution in our healing journeys.
My hope is that this soul work is done and these aspects of myself will heal, shift and integrate and no longer hold me back from being my best self.
Comments, thoughts or impacts?
Jack
