Codependency & Needs ~ One Of The Biggest Lies (Thoughts On Needs)
Needs Are Normal & Healthy
To deny this is to deny your humanity.
The first years of your life, you were nothing but needs. You needed everything to survive, you completely depended on others. This was life and death. You were pure need.
How your caregivers responded to your needs directly correlates to how you meet your needs now.
If your caregivers met your needs with love and their own abundance you will have NO problem asking for and getting your needs met.
If your caregivers resented meeting your needs (because they were empty) you will probably feel like a “burden” and will have a hard time getting your needs met. You will also attract people who cannot meet your needs.
To have needs is to be human, to deny this is a lie that disavows the reality of your human experience.
When you don’t meet your needs over and over again – you become NEEDY
Neediness is not bad, it is simply your suppressed SMALL needs built up over time. Ending neediness is simply meeting your needs as they arise in a timely manner.
You are human, you have needs. This is okay, normal and natural.
Needs:
~ Touch
~ Intimacy: Sharing your physical, intellectual, emotional & energetic experiences with others
~ Meaningful work
~ Safety
~ Boundaries
~ Compensated for work/efforts
~ Love
~ Joy
~ To grieve pain
~ Connections
~ Happiness
~ Space (freedom to be with yourself)
~ Friendships
~ Connection to Earth
~ Safety to be vulnerable
Healthy Relationships
In healthy relationships you are able to fully express your needs moment to moment, those around you are able to give to/meet your needs from a place of their abundance. When they do not have the resources they are able to say “no.” You are able to receive/take in what is offered to you. You can give back simply by feeling the appreciation and gratitude in your body. You are then nourished and pass on your re-newed abundance to the next person…
And the cycle continues.
Questions about needs?
To learn more about healing codependency visit my webpage (Healing Codependency) here
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