Codependents And Needs
Codependents have a hard time getting needs met. Here’s why…
Disconnection from the body – they are not aware of their bodies signals as to what their needs are. Awareness of body sensations is a KEY component of knowing ones needs.
Suppression – They are unconsciously suppressing their needs and desires. In childhood those with codependent patterns had to suppress their needs and meet the needs of others. This pattern is still alive in them.
Terror – They are terrified to ask. Asking to get ones needs met bring up primal sensations of terror and vulnerability. This is the terror of their child self living in their body.
Burden – Perhaps codependents hate this more then anything. Feeling like a burden. This is probably because they were a burden to their mother, father or caregivers. This was NOT about the child, this was about the parents inability and lacks of skill. This burdensome sensation is anathema to those with codependent patterns.
The wrong people – Those with codependent patterns have the habit of always asking the wrong people to be there for them or meet their needs. They are let down every time or of someone does meet their needs they have a habit of not seeing it. This is the childhood pattern playing out.
The Healing Begins When…
~ Healing these childhood based wounds requires being in connection with ones body. Both the positive and negative sensations.
~ They must become aware of their needs and honor these, starting to get them met (conscious baby steps).
~ Sit with the primal terror (sensations) while processing the trauma. Strengthening their ability to sit with uncomfortable sensations.
~ They must resolve in their own Soul that the burden feelings were not about them, but about their parents/caregivers lack of skill. They must also accept and not run from this reality.
~ Those with codependent patterns must get past their childhood based fear of asking to get their needs met. Once the fear is processed they immediately begin asking the people who can meet them and their needs.
I have a free event, conversations on codependency. We will explore why it is SO HARD for those with codependent patterns to “Speak Their Truth” in connection. This free event is Thursday Dec 13th from 6:30-8:30 in Boulder. This event is almost full. RSVP with me (send me your email)
For deeper healing I also have Healing Codependency groups weekly, Monday & Tuesday. Contact me for details on these deeper groups.
I so much “dig” these your articles Jack. Thank you for sharing, they are awesome, mind opening